Thirty Days of Letters: Day 11 (I'm skipping around)

Dear Uncle Harold,

I miss you. A lot. I have for the entirty of the 7 years since I last saw you; 6 years since you died. A lot has changed since then. For example, I learned just how badass you were. I learned the side effects of war. I learned what real and honest guilt feels like. I learned grief, fear, anger, joy, saddness, pain, heartbreak, euphoria, contentment. I learned what it was to watch a person detiorate in a debilitating depression. I learned how to smile despite it all, to always look for that proverbial silver lining. I learned that the world is a glorious and terrible place. I learned friendship and unconditional love. I learned how to get over a fear and sing in front of a crowd. I learned how to open my heart to someone. I learned the pain when someone breaks your heart. I learned how to move on from that heartbreak and trust again. I grew to be a person that I hope you're proud of.

I think the biggest lesson I learned though is how to truly miss a person. I wish you were still around to talk to all of the time.

I love you and can't wait to see you again.
All my love,
Ally

PS- You're my favorite great uncle but don't tell anyone else that ;)

Thirty Days of Letters: Days 2-6

Day 2:
Dear Jackson Rathbone,
This is a letter to you as my crush because I don't have one who is not a celebrity and you are my favorite. You're super talented and super cute. The end.
Sincerely,
A Quasi-Gushy Fangirl :)


Day 3:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I love and appreciate you!!! What more is there to say?
Love,
AllyRoo


Day 4:
Dear PJ,
You rock kid! Just, you know, do your homework :p. I know you would love "It's Kind of A Funny Story" by Ned Vizzini if you could read it but because of the way your brain works, I'm working on finding you an audiobook version of it so you can listen to it instead. Don't worry too much about girlfriends yet, just have fun being a kid. Eat more fruits and veggies! Love you little brother :)
Love,
Ally

Day 5:
Dear dreams,
You guys are craaaazy. Why? Freud would have a field day with you lot. I mean, yeah, I like a British accent but must everyone speak in one? And what was with the last three Doctors from Doctor Who? I get the hoverboards but what was with the number of funerals attended? I do have to say that I enjoyed Swan Lake being the soundtrack to the whole process with little snippets of August Rush in there. That was kind of cool. Thanks for the purple highlights as well :)
Best Wishes!
Me

Day 6:
Hello :)
I have so many questions for you. What's your favorite color? What kind of music do you like? How old are you? Do you have a story? If so, what is it? What challanges have you had to face in your life? Do you like books? What has been your best day to date? Your worst? Is dancing enjoyable to you? What are your passions? Who are the most important people in your life? Do you like your family? Are they interesting? Do you have any secrets? Did/do you like school? What's your favorite subject? Do you like philosophy? Do you like the Earth? Are you a fan of humanity's potential at the very least? Are you going to change your world?
Thank's for Reading!
Allyson

She's got the beat

It seems as though the majority of my conversations of revolved around music since the end of the fall semester. I've picked up a lot of good recommendations, heard stuff on TV shows and the radio, as well as just stumbling upon artists and songs on the interwebs. There just hasn't been much of an opportunity to share this great music. So, here it is, the music that's been running through my head.

"Don't take, don't take, don't take, don't take it so lightly when you say, you say, you say, when you say you love me"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv-Edf9P0P4

I heard this song on a One Tree Hill rerun on SoapNet the other day (guilty pleasure) and had to find it. When I did, I fell very quickly in love with it. There's a classic sound to this song that is just relaxing and calming to me. It made me want to cry and not because I was sad but just the comfort I felt in listening to the song.

"Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up, unfold me. I am small, I'm needy. Warm me up and breathe me"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiIL0w916xM

I'm listening to this song as I write this. I found it while I was getting the link for the previous one. It's a gorgeous song, very evocative emotionally (this means I'm crying my freaking eyes out).

"At every occasion I'll be ready for a funeral"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibE7IqEjni4

A person needs to be in the right frame of mind to really like most of the music I've been listening to. It's all rather melancholy. I'm not sure why, it's just the way I am for now. I mean, there's a few dancey songs and fun punk stuff sprinkled in when I'm talking to someone about music or out with people but when I've been on my own, I have been sticking with the melancholy. Yes, this has nothing to do with the song I just linked but I just have no words with which to describe it.

"You know there will be days when you're so tired that you can't take another step. The night will have no stars and you'll think you've gone as far as you will ever get. You and me walk on, walk on, walk on"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JscAwVu2QI

This song reminds me of the people who I've come along side of to help through tough times and the people who have likewise done the same for me. I say thank you to both. To those I've come along side of, thank you for trusting me and letting me in during your darkest times. To those who came along side of me, thank you for allowing me to be weak and broken.

"Don't speak, don't breathe, you bring out the devil in me"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvbPdcZMf_Q

It's the acoustic version of the song. I like it. I want to say "I relate to this song so much" but of course I do. I wouldn't like it if I didn't relate in some way.

"Pitterpat the angel on my shoulder is haunting me tonight"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZIzJUrViY4

Erin McCarly, the artist who brought us "Love Save The Empty" also offers up this song on the same album. I like this song super very much.

"No I don't want to see you go. No I don't want to be alone."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9in_2bpi2Bg

I can't tell if this is a break up song or not. What do you think? I love it either way. Angus & Julia Stone have gorgeous music. If you agree, you'll enjoy the next song :)

"And I'm waiting for the day, I know you'll have the heart"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0VKlQl5fOc

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequitted love. ~Charlie Brown. At least, I'm pretty sure that's how the quote goes. Either way, you get the gist. This song makes me think of unrequitted love. We all know what it's like to be romantically interested in someone who does not feel the same way. We all know what it feels like to be rejected. To me, this song expresses those feelings very well.

"And you know you're not there when the sound of a song cannot soothe you"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U9lUrcieIM

Much peppier. The thumbnail for the video is creepy. The lyrics are stunning. The artist is fantastic. The song is magnificent.

"I walk home as the sun goes down and listen for your voice but you're not there to call me I forget sometimes"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRYo-tC8xhk

Literally an unknown unless you subscribe to certain YouTube channels. I like his sound and his music and just yeah. Check him out. Throw him some support :)

This is just the beginning of my list, I've simply run out of sufficient words.

Smile, it confuses people!

Also, Happy Christmas!!

<3

Thirty Days of Letters: Day 1

Dear Melody,

Remember that? Our delve into the world of fanfiction. It was six years ago that we first bonded over a mutual love (obsession!) of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and every book in that world. I just had to do the math to figure that out, naturally. Over the years we've found more and more that we mutually love and our friendship continues to grow. We may hit lulls every now and then but it's never for long. Then and now there were/are times that I at least feel like the two year age gap between up does not exist. I cannot wait to do wedding stuff over break with you. I can't wait for your wedding! I find it to be surreal in a way that the things we talked about in your room when sleep would evade us are all coming true. I love you girlie! You're going so many places and I'm proud to call you friend.

Wind to thy Wings,
Niriel


Hey Junior!

So, it's been ... five years? I can't wait until one of our visits me it at my house or your's! I don't even remember how we met but I know our one and only fight to date. That 24 hour time span when a guy (eh-hem) actually came between us. Well, we were newbies to our relationship so it needed to be tested I guess and, obivously, we passed. Do you remember that day/night? Anyway, you are beautiful and smart. Really, you are! Whatever challenges life throws your way you will meet and defeat and you will be Brilliant.

Love you chickadee!

AllyRoo

Mister Music Man,

Five years ago. We met five years ago but it wasn't until three years ago that hints of a friendship starting appearing in our acquaintanceship. The weirdest things hold us together like The Lion King and Walmart. Really, my friend, you are crazy. Well, we are crazy which I guess is the point. Thank you for Fight Club and Dogma and In Bruges and for every other movie and book and Walmart battle. You, sir, are the brother I chose. Don't ask me to explain the way I address you in this little note. I have no idea where that came from.

Peace out man!

Your Chauffeur

The Ramblings Of A Girl With A Lot On Her Mind

"Sad is happy for deep people."

Have you ever been in sad and happy at the same time? Like, when you accomplish something that you've been striving towards for an extended period of time? Or, you finish a really good book that has no sequel? Even a fantastic song?

I think that's one of the most profound experiences we can have as thoughtful individuals. To be happy and sad at the same time is like looking at complimentary colors. When you look at red and green or purple and yellow or (my favorite combination) orange and blue next to each other, the colors both jump out at you. They make each other more prominent. Better. More beautiful. It's a bolder experience. But it's a very careful one. If you mix the two, they just turn brown. It's a marvelous balancing act.

"Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy."

That is the quote that is over the entrance to Disneyland. I love that quote. It's a good one. I think it's applicable to all of the good books I've read. I'm glad for places and things that make that happen. It's so nice to have some form of escape from the ordinary. But the ordinary is nice as well. I enjoy ordinary. Ordinary can be extraordinary when done in the right way.

"Hide as he will, cautious, in steel and brass, Still death will drag his head outside at last"

Right. So. Death will happen no matter what we do. Death should be thought of often. Death should only worry me so much as it causes me to live life to it's fullest. And I don't mean running out and partying. I want to experience a Truth. Something true. Something real. I want to live without regrets. I just want to Live.

"Old men declare war but it is the young men that must fight and die."

Why is that? This seems impossibly ridiculous and completely unfair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, life's not fair. But this is a different type of unfair.

What about you?

Music! Music! Philosophy!

"I can't sit still when there's that rhythm near me."

I watched Glee today. I love Glee. It's just so gleeful :)

Anyway, Kurt did this rendition of Le Jazz Hot from Victor/Victoria which I had never heard of until just today. Yes, I know, I'm a terrible person and how can I call myself a Julie Andrews lover and just shush I'm busy! Now, I love Kurt, I really do, despite his selfish tendencies which are no where near the level of Rachel whom I almost loath at this point. Wow that's a rabbit trail. Back to my point, HOLY COW! I LOVE LE JAZZ HOT! Such a fun song and I was dancing through it's entirety and not caring that there's a huge window behind me and the whole street could see me. Freaking. Fan. Tastic.

"Cause I need freedom now. And I need to know how, to live my life as it's meant to be. And I will hold on hope. And I won't let you choke, on the noose around your neck. And I'll find strength in pain. And I will change my ways. I'll know my name as it's called again"

Those lyrics are just stunning to me at this point in my life. I was on my way to work, stuck in traffic, windows down, enjoying the weather and the chance to breath a little when I heard this song for the first time today. It's The Cave by the band Mumford & Sons. Seriously, this band has a way with music and lyrics. I have limited exposure to this band but based solely on the three songs I have heard, I love them. So simple but so much depth. It's just amazing to me that a person or group of people could come together and make something so gorgeous. I like a lot of music. But I love select songs or groups.

That grammatical distinction I just made reminded me of my philosophy class today. Once again, we were discussing Socrates. Seriously one smart guy. But in the discussion we're focusing on, he forgot certain aspects of humanity. There was this debate amongst Pre-Socratic (yes, man, Socrates is that important) philosophers regarding the one and the many which leads into Kosmos (order) and Kaos (craziness). These guys were trying to figure out in which the universe existed. Eventually they all settled on kosmos and then decided there had to be a logos (logic) and then decided there needed to be an arche (something unchanging) and then argued about what that arche was.

Until Socrates.

He was like yeah, yeah, whatever and stuck with the many versus one debacle. His schtick was many examples, one definition and this distinction gave us categories. An example of this would be ... a computer screen. You know what you are looking at is an example of a computer screen based on the fact that it fits into the prescribed characteristics of a computer screen. Now, this would be the end of the conversation if Socrates were in charge. But he's not. Computer screens may not have been the best example for where I am trying to go with this. Let's change computer screens to chairs because they're easier for this. Back to my point. Socrates left out uniqueness. Using chairs and grammar, I'm going to illustrate this point with a rocking chair. There's this rocking chair that my great grandfather paid for when I was a baby. If you were to look at that specific chair you would only see a chair. But I don't. I see the chair my great grandfather's money paid for. The chair I've had my whole life. The chair that broke on a friend of mine causing me to laugh uproariously. That chair has a lot of sentimentality associated with it because I can recognize it's individuality. I'm sure there are certain items that you can recognize as individual and irreplaceable to you as well.

Apply this whole idea to the planet. As it stands, there is only One Earth. One. In an age of industry and socratic ideals, we seem to have lost that fact on a fundamental level. Sure, part of our psyche acknowledges this as a fact but it's almost like an unimportant fact. Don't worry. Destroy the planet. We'll just get another one. Not. Yeah, I went all environmentalist on you. But someone has to be. Otherwise, we're all just going to end up killing ourselves (like Socrates did, do you really want to follow his thought processes through to the end?) and our one and only Earth.

Bet you didn't see that ending coming ;)

All the kids these days, do you really want to be that way?

I am a caucasian female with dark hair and dark eyes. I am of average height and weight. I like males. My nails are not well kept. I am bohemian. I am a dreamer. I am a philosopher. I am kind. I am loving. I am a sister, daughter, niece, granddaughter, cousin, friend, and neighbor. I read books all the time. I write what I think. At times I am lazy and productive. I watch TV. I go to movies. I listen to music. I listen to my friends. I take care of other people's children. I like writing and receiving letters. I like the look of my eyes, my hair, my hands, and my feet. I'm self-conscious of my body from time to time. I'm right. I'm wrong. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm emotional. I'm stoic. I'm sleeping. I'm waking. I'm logical. I'm rational. I'm irrational. I'm illogical. I'm confused. I know. I don't know. I'm outgoing. I'm shy. I've got all of these categories I fit under and yet my favorite is

I am me.

There is no other me in the world.

And there never will be another me. Ever.

Socrates is the reason for this post. What?!? What does Socrates have to do with this??

He's the dude who challenged the thoughts of his day and forever shaped the thoughts of western civilization. And we don't even realize it. It's pretty much subconscious.

In his conversation with a guy called Euthyphro, Socrates asks him to define piety or justice as the case may be. Euthyphro gives Socrates several examples of justice but Socrates continues to ask him for the definition, not examples. It's a really long conversation and I didn't read all of it, just the part in my philosophy book. The point is, this conversation affected the way we think right to this very moment.

Not cool, man.

See, Socrates left out one part of the equation. He forgot the individual. He forgot the "me" factor.

We have come to let the labels, the categories, the titles define who we are and what we see. And really, that's not a good way to be. Think about it. Every war, every prejudice, every form of bullying, they all stem from those categories. We think with an us and them mentality. Billions of people have died because of it. We all walk around wearing these tinted glasses and the sad part is most people aren't even aware of it. And they need to be. For all our society has to say about being ourselves there aren't many people in it who hold true to that.

I'll even go "religious" with this. Jesus. Jesus said the greatest commandment of all was one not even written on the stone tablets. He said that we needed to love our neighbors as ourselves. By following that one commandment, just that one, you follow every single other one. Every law. Every rule. Love your neighbor as yourself, and you don't need those other commandments, laws, edicts, rules. Following that requires us to take off the Socrates glasses and not see people by their titles, categories, labels, or anything like that. It requires that we see people as who they are and not as those titles make us think they are.

So, what do you think? What are your thoughts? I really do want to know.

You don't know me...

Actually, you probably do.

I'm not sure what's gong to happen here but I'm just going to write.

Woah.

So, I like philosophy. I like thinking deep thoughts and articulating said thoughts. I like writing papers for philosophy classes. I plan on taking a buhjillion philosophy classes throughout my life and continue to think deep thoughts and articulate them. I know that there are many in my two philosophy classes this semester who don't like them. Well, boo on you. I like that when I'm finished taking the two of them I have a bit of a headache. That means I'm actually working my brain. I haven't had a headache from that much learning and thought in years. I love it!

I also really enjoy learning about different religions. I like knowing how people believe all over the world. I feel like by learning about all of this apparent weirdness gives me a better understanding of what I believe and why I believe it so I can better defend it. Everytime I learn about some one else's beliefs I learn a little more about my own and that just further solidifies them.

I also really like getting letters in the mail. I forgot how awesome a feeling that was until recently when a good friend of mine joined the Army and the only way I can talk to him is via snail mail or those rare times when he can use his mobile phone (so sorry about 10/3 Trav!). I get rather giddy and smiley when I get letters in the mail and not just the ones from him. A friend of mine who goes to college far away writes letters to me and I to her. Also, a friend who lives far, far away tries to send me letters but the United States Post Office loses them. Anyway, letters make me feel more important than emails do. Emails are instant gratification which I like but it's not the same. Letters take time and a little bit of money which shows that person is thinking of you and cares enough to sit down write a letter and mail it.

Anyway, that's what is on my brain for now. I'm going to finish This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen and continue to kick myself for not getting into this author earlier.

:)

A Return to Self Expression

"First I'm arrogant and now I have no pride, however do I manage that?"

Ever After is most definitely my absolute favorite girly movie. I mean, it's fantastic! I'm not a huge fan of the Cinderella story but this is just different enough. Danielle is smart and witty and strong and loves books almost as much as me while Henry is boyish and grows so wonderfully into an admirable character. Favorite scene is when Danielle punches Marguerite square on the nose. It's such a smart movie. I know there's going to bo a lot of people who don't agree but I don't care. I love this film. I have for years. I will for years to come.

"The only thing worse than a boy who hates you, a boy who loves you."

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is a wonderful book. It was on my radar since it was first published in 2006 and I finally have read it yesterday. The story is beautiful, ironic, so sad, and just brilliant. I loved the characters. I loved the choice of the narrator. The writing style is fantastic in it's conversational way, like talking to a good friend. I recommend it to any lover of the written word.

"Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I am."

Ethel Barrymore's last words before she died. I like them. They are fantastic.

Honesty. Quite a huge idea for three syllables. Really all I ask of friends is that they are honest with me. Catching a trusted friend in a lie hurts much more than whatever they think they are protecting me from.

I find myself missing people so much more than usual as of late. There are some people in particular that I miss more than others but it happens like that.

<3

Hey, I'm new!

Well, I'm not really new. I'm actually nearly two decades old which confuses my parents quite a bit. In actuality, I'm just new to this. Blogging. I don't know. I feel like I'm wasting time but I do that a lot any way. So, I guess introductions would be a good idea.
Ready.
Set.
GO!
I
read;
write;
photograph;
love Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, The O.C., Disney, and GLEE;
don't take everything terribly seriously;
spend way too much time watching awesome videos on YouTube;
put my friends and family first;
am a nerd.
But then, by reading this, you'll eventually learn these things quite quickly.

Don't forget to smile!