Nanny, I love you and miss you

Ethel Marie McAfee Steiner, my Nanny, was born February 3, 1935. She was the oldest of six, four of whom have passed away. She helped raise her younger siblings as is often the case. She played basketball in high school and wore her aunt's Army fatigues. She often snuck her garter snake in as well. In 1952, at the age of 17, Ethel was a cancan dancer for about a month. She and five other girls practiced for over a month leading up to Greensburg Pennsylvania’s Sesquicentennial celebration.  Prior to performing, she lost about 20 pounds from how much they practiced. They performed every night for a week. On the last night, it was like a real western show. A couple drunken men jumped up on stage wanting to dance with the girls. They were shown off the stage.  Around the same time, she also started to volunteer at her church as a Sunday school teacher and work at a soda fountain situated between two movie theaters. While nothing terribly eventful happened in either position, she recalled one instance at the soda fountain in which she forgot to put a banana in a banana split. The customer did not want the banana-less split and so she was able to enjoy it herself. Ethel graduated from high school in 1952 as well. She worked for one week at Robert Shaw making thermoses but they let her go and told her to come back when she was 18 because 17 was just too young. When Ethel was 18, in 1953, she went to Connecticut for a summer and worked on a tobacco farm. Approximately 100 girls lived in a converted warehouse which had a very large sink which they operated with foot pedals. The girls rode school buses from the warehouse to the farms and back every day. The bus drivers were good people. They brought bushels of ripe tomatoes every day for the girls to munch on during the road back from the farm. At the farm, the girls didn’t work in the fields. They stayed up in the barns where they sewed the tobacco leaves into long lathes. The boys then took the lathes up to the rafters of the barn where they dried. The boys also delivered the leaves from the fields to the barn and occasional left disgusting surprises in the leaves in the form of feces. Apparently, boys have always been gross. During this time, Ethel contracted tobacco rash which itched like crazy and required daily applications of calamine lotion all over her body. Upon returning to Greensburg, Ethel started working at Jeannette Rubber Works making life rafts for the Army. The Army was a tough customer. If one of the rafts had a leak, they sent back ten. The rafts constructed were roughly eight feet in diameter. The employees at Jeannette had to glue in the floor and install the supports for a canopy. They also had to clean the big steel tables in the factory with muriatic acid without face masks which they learned years later was hazardous to their health. Ethel worked there for a little more than a year before starting at Bell Telephone when she was 20 years old in 1955. She worked in the commercial office in the billing department using an addressograph machine. With an addressograph machine, she typed the names and addresses of customers onto metal plates which were then used to stamp the envelopes. The job started in Pittsburgh so she took the train in everyday. As kids do, they often threw rocks at the train from an overpass. Once, a rock hit the window where she was sitting but because of how fast the train was moving, it only cracked the window rather than flying in. It was around this time that she found a special interest in a regular bus driver for the youth group. His name was John Steiner. On one trip in particular, John found himself buying two rings, a $10 one for himself and a $14 one for Ethel. She married John on July 20, 1957 when she was 22 years old and still employed by Bell Telephone. About a year after their marriage, Bell changed locations from Pittsburgh to Greensburg which was much closer to home for her. Around the same time, Ethel gave birth to her first born, John Jr., when she was 23 years old. She was staying at her mother’s house leading up to the birth because her husband was hospitalized for a hernia. He was on the floor right above hers while she was giving birth. On the day of delivery, she told her mother that John Jr. had been kicking her all night and her back hurt terribly. Her mother informed her that it sounded like she was in labor. She was right. Ethel’s brother, Jim, took her to the hospital and stayed with her. The nurse came in several times asking if she was sure she was in labor because she was the quietest woman on the floor. She had some paid maternity leave but didn’t take very much time off from work as her husband was still hospitalized and they had a newborn to care for. In 1960 Ethel left Bell Telephone to stay home with her children. She had been a pregnant Christmas angel before her second son, Ronald, was born in that year. Eleven months later, she gave birth to Mark in 1961. They didn’t have to pay for Mark’s vaccinations for the first year of his life due to a clerical error at the doctor’s office. At the age of 26 and with three small boys, the youngest of which being only 3 months old, Ethel and John moved across the state from Irwin to Stockertown.  They took their home, a 10ft wide and 50ft long trailer, with them. Eventually, they traded in the trailer for a double wide that John still lives in. When they settled in Stockertown, the found a new church to go to and once again, Ethel started as a Sunday school teacher. She also volunteered as a vacation bible school leader every summer. At the age of 30, in 1965, Ethel gave birth to her last kid, my father, Jef. A week before they took Ron and Mark out to Greensburg to stay with her mother. The boys took their Santa Claus dolls with them which had very clean, white beards. When they came back the beards were dark grey from all of the coal dust. John Jr. was the only one with a clean Santa because he stayed in Martin’s Creek with Libby, Ethel’s niece. The day that Jef was born she tried to call her doctor’s office. He wasn’t in so they told her to call the hospital because there were doctor’s there who could help her. She did call them and they prepared a room for her. However, my grandparents had different ideas. They had to pay their taxes first and then they sat in the parking lot of the hospital until after noon because they thought they wouldn’t be charged for the whole day if they waited that long. When they finally went in, the hospital staff was relieved. The hospital had been calling their house trying to find them. An hour after they went into the hospital, Jef was born. All of her births were rather easy for her. Ethel’s life revolved around children from the time she was 25. All of her stories are family stories about her boys or her grandkids and all of the children she babysat. When she was 35 years old, her three older boys with some other neighborhood boys soaped the windows of the model home in the neighborhood while the owners were away. The owners returned and the boys all scattered. The boys did the logical thing and didn’t go home, all except one, the brainy  boy, Ron. He ran home, was followed, and subsequently caught. The boys were then made to clean the windows. Ethel laughed every time she told this story. Most of the stories she told were humorous, in fact. In 1971, all of her boys were in school so she sought employment. She found an ad for a babysitter in the newspaper and took up the position. The baby was 10 months old when she started. She stayed with that family for 14 years. Three more children were born and she left when the youngest was 8. When the youngest child was 5 months old, the parents went to Egypt leaving the children with my grandparents for three weeks. Around the time she started babysitting; she also became a Cub Scout leader and started teaching AWANA which was a Wednesday night program at the church. That lasted for a few years but ended before Jef was in high school. There was a State Police barrack in Stockertown which was behind their house diagonally. In the field behind the Steiner house, the police had a helicopter pad which the boys played ball on. When the helicopter was taking off and the boys were outside, the pilot would tilt the helicopter so the boys could throw the balls at the spinning blades and basically play catch with the helicopter. The police men also often came out and played with the boys in the field. They would remove their guns to do so and leave them on the side o the field. Once, a police man forgot his gun and John Jr. returned it to him. They also fished in the same creek as the boys. There was one day when Mark was walking back home from the creek with an 18” fish in his hands. A police officer opened the window and asked Mark how he had caught it. Mark told him he had dammed up the fish in the creek with rocks and simply plucked it out of the water with his hands. The officer slammed the window shut as he had apparently tried and caught nothing earlier that day. Ethel kept the fish in the freezer for years. She also kept the top of Ron's wedding cake in her freezer from the early 90's until Hurricane Sandy knocked out the power in October 2012 but that's another story. When her three older boys were out of high school and she was about 43 years old, Ron was wrestling with Mark because they’re boys and it’s what they do. Ron had Mark in a choke hold but Mark had his hands between Ron’s arm and his neck. That is, until his glasses started to slip off. He pulled his hand out to fix them and in that time Ron choked him out. So, what does Ron the EMT do? He screams for his mom. Mark came to right away so it wasn’t a big deal. The next door neighbors, Donna and Mike, asked Ethel when she was 51 years old to babysit their 2 year old daughter, Kaitlin. Donna was in nursing school and Mike was working. That year, there was a tornado that tore through the area. Mark and Jef were bringing in the patio furniture so it wouldn’t blow away. The dog, Frank, was tied to the side porch and normally couldn’t reach the back patio. However, he was so scared this day that he managed to do it. As Jef and Mark were bringing in the furniture they noticed that it suddenly became much brighter outside. The storm had torn off the patio roof, some of the main house roof, and part of the chimney. It also blew off Mike and Donna’s aluminum patio roof and caused it to hit a power line knocking out the power. Ethel continued babysitting for the couple after they had two more children, Kristen and Nick. Shortly after Nick was born, Mike was deployed to Dessert Storm. Donna was going to quit nursing school so she could stay with the children but Ethel and John insisted she continue going. Ethel took care of her children all day as Donna left before the kids were awake and came home after they were already asleep. In 1990 Ethel was 55 years old, she took up the position of sexton at Grace Bible Fellowship Church and her first grandchild (me!) was born. She continued caring for the neighbor’s children as well as her grandchildren. It was rather like a daycare center where children of all ages from all over the neighborhood were cared for by her until and through elementary school. She was attentive even to the point of matching the colors of our cups to which color Power Ranger we played as that day. She kept us all in line and strongly enforced nap time until you reached the age of 5. She was well loved by all of the children for whom she cared. Even into high school, the kids still went to her house for snacks. Ethel cared for the children of her sons’ friends and sometimes for her great-grandchildren until shortly before she passed. At church, Ethel frequently sang solos and with the choir at Grave Bible Fellowship Church. She had an unmistakable, very strong, vibrato, soprano voice. She reached very daunting motes. She passed away on August 1, 2013. The majority of her life was spent caring for others and had a special way with children. She always had a listening ear as well as a lot to say and was always there when you needed her. She was an admirable woman, full of strength and love, whom I hope I can make proud and emulate in my daily life.

Falling in love with fictional characters

"It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."

Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Books. Oh, books. With your promise of escape and of course a decent story the majority of the time, you always surprise me.

I suppose I should be addressing the authors of these books rather than the books themselves.

Authors. Especially you good ones. Like you, John Green or Jay Asher or Laurie Halse Anderson or Madeline L'Engle or Suzanne Collins. You suck me in to these gripping experiences of all sorts. And sometimes, just sometimes, I fall in love with one of your characters. The first time this happened to me it was Calvin O'Keefe from A Wrinkle in Time. I had a massive crush on that boy. The most recent fictional boy I love is Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars.

I had been waiting very impatiently for this book since......... October I believe. It did not disappoint in the least. It was a roller coaster ride (no, it did not only go up as Augustus Waters would have me believe). I actually cried at a few points in this book. So, John Green, thank you for giving me Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace Lancaster. For the short amount of time they were with me, they affected me greatly. I don't care that they were too witty to be actual teenagers. They're fictional, they're allowed to be extra witty. Thank you for making me fall in love with a fictional amputee boy and allowing me to empathize with a fictional girl with debilitating cancer in a way that I didn't think I would be able to.

For me, the mark of a great work of literature is the effect it leaves. Slaughterhouse Five, To Kill A Mockingbird, A Wrinkle in Time, Speak, Thirteen Reasons Why and A Farewell to Arms are examples of this. To this list I now add The Fault in Our Stars. It is the first book to make me actually cry that I can think of right now.

So, what should you do with this information? You should seek out and read this book. If you look around, you'll probably find an autographed copy. Either way, signed or unsigned, read the book. You will laugh. You will cry. You will become incredibly angry. You will fall in love with the story. Just do it.

Will be's and going to's

Habits are simultaneously wonderful and horrible. At present, I am trying to break a few and form a few and it is incredibly difficult. Human that I am, I object to and avoid change as much as, and sometimes more than, the next but I, with the help of some friends and family, am trying my hardest to make some changes in my life. The first and foremost being my eating habits. While I don't necessarily eat poorly, I can eat better and I want to so I along with a friend joined a site where we can track what we eat and pay attention to our intake of calories, carbs, fats, and proteins versus how much we burn in a day. Because I'm not always near a computer, I even carry a small notebook to record what I eat. That notebook serves a dual purpose. Not only do I record what I eat, but I also use it as a journal of sorts. It's in this notebook that I pen whatever I want to write in that moment so I can piece together my jumbled-up thoughts. This is another habit I'm working to form. Writing everything out serves to help undo stress and help me relax when I can't use my other go to methods (meditating mostly).

With school starting in exactly one week I'm also trying to get back into learning. A four month break is not helpful with that. My brain is foggy on certain areas and so I'm working to attempt to fix it. Speaking of work, I've been working overnights all summer. I do not recommend this to people who crave the sunlight and time with family as much as I do. While I did get a fair amount of sun, I did not get the opportunity to spend time with my family as I so wished and wanted to. I'm trying to find a new job because of this.

Previous semesters I managed to get by on my financial aid, a part time job where I only worked weekends, and babysitting. However, this semester I need a substantial paycheck so that I can save money for another change that is coming. My grandparents are selling their house here so I need to find a new place of my own unlike the majority of my peers. A terrifying endeavor because along with that, I need to find a four-year university to transfer to. I'm not content with simply an AD and would like to achieve a PhD in my life. This, however, also means figuring out what field I want that PhD in. Challenges abound in trying to support myself and get through school because I face this with only myself as my launch pad. "Home" as I knew it before doesn't exist and I'm facing becoming my own home being as independent as I can manage. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I can do it all on my own, I know I'll be turning to my parents for help in certain areas but for the most part I've just got me. I'm looking at a nearly insurmountable obstacle and I'm desperately hoping I don't fall flat on my face.

I'm not going to apologize for my long absence considering you 4 are my only followers and have been able to keep up with me on facebook though I will say I do intend to write here more now.

P.S.- I'm terribly excited for the return of Doctor Who!!!!!!

P.P.S.- I'm catching up on Falling Skies and Torchwood: Miracle Day because I adore sci-fi oh so much :)

Nostalgia

"One minute you're defending the WHOLE galaxy...

the next you're sucking down Darjeeling with

Marie Antoinette and her little sisters..."
~THE Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story

I'm a sucker for the movies from my childhood. I know way more about Disney movies and the like than I really should. My extensive knowledge regarding children's movies is part of what makes me such a nerd and I'm not at all ashamed of it. There are days when it's especially nice to have on hand my favorite movies when childhood. You know, those days when being a grown up just sucks and no amount of ice cream or chocolate or kind words from a friend will do. Even if it's just for an hour and half, it's good to feel like the world is full of wonder and spectacle.

It's just a short post today. I'm not making very much headway in the reading list, sadly. School and work have to take precedence no matter how wonderful the story.

Have a wonderful day!

Oh so sentimental...

I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you...

The lyrics from one of the last songs in the musical Wicked (that I have yet to see). I thoroughly enjoy the music and the story of this musical. It's so fun and it's just good! Anyway. There are so many people still or no longer in my life who I can honestly say I am better for knowing. What about you?

So, this is my thank you to all of the people I love and have loved. It's because of the support and love of you all that I am where I am today. I hope I've had at least a portion of the impact on you that you've had on me. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CImGTTuEMEI

Nay-sayers? What are they? I'm gonna find out!

I promise that with this post I will most likely alienate quite a few people I know. That being said, hear me out before you freak out. I'm not just some silly girl spouting off random opinions on a whim. I've thought long and hard about this. Not only that, but I've done a lot of research on it. Even today, my fingers have been itching to write this. Here we go.

Today marks the 38th anniversary of a very important and controversial Supreme Court case. Roe vs. Wade. It's the abortion case. Because of this case, the government can not make laws against abortion, only regulate when it can be performed. There are various regulations but for the most part a woman can choose to have an abortion before she's been pregnant for two months without any trouble.

I'm neither pro-choice or pro-life. I don't see the point in identifying with either because if I were to do so, immediately your mind would go to the extreme. So, allow me to explain my position.

I'm not against abortion. There are situations in which I would advocate for one. There are situations in which I would advocate against one, as well. Times come when an abortion is definitely the best option for those involved. Take, for example, a victim of rape. That is an extremely traumatic experience. It's a violation of humanity in the worst way. Now, becoming pregnant as a result of rape is estimated to occur in about 4.7% of cases it could be more or less. The woman involved has gone through what is, in my opinion, the very worst thing a person can do to another human being. Granted, there are times when she does not want an abortion and views the pregnancy as a blessing regardless of how it came about but there are times when that is not the case. When it is the latter, that woman should be allowed to terminate the pregnancy without harassment or ridicule from anyone, she has gone through enough.

Another time when I would be first in line to scream "YES!" to the abortion is when the mother's life is at risk due to the pregnancy. It happens. There are several pre-existing conditions that would make this true. Also, there are many strange cases where it is necessary to terminate the pregnancy to protect the health and well-being of the mother. Notice I mention the well-being of the mother as well. I'm also in favor of an abortion when there is no chance for that fetus/child to come into this world alive. There are, once again, certain conditions and disorders that make this happen. I can't remember the specifics very well, but I recall a story in the news recently where this was the case. A couple was seeking an abortion because there was not chance for the fetus/child to be born living and the process risked the life of the mother. They were already the parents of three children. This couple received plenty of flack for there decision to terminate from there church and other people they knew. Now, c'mon! I was rather disturbed by the reactions of those around the couple. Would you really risk that woman's life for a pregnancy that will not result in a living child?

All of that being said, I'm not okay with someone using abortion as birth control. I'm also not okay with reasons such as not wanting stretch marks. That's ridiculous. If you feel you are not ready to have the responsibility of taking care of a child in person first of all, don't have sex. Abstinence is the only 100% effective means of not getting pregnant. Secondly, there's this thing called adoption. It's an incredibly difficult process to go through emotionally but rather an easy one legally. Actually, there are times when it's not even that hard emotionally. Not only that, but there are so many different options for adoption contracts. You can have a totally closed one where the birth mother forfeits all rights to the child or you can have an open adoption where there are a myriad of ways the birth mother has access to the child. I'm generally in favor of the open adoption and I think it's one of the most awesome options for an unwanted pregnancy.

Back to abortion, it's a rather large grey area and nothing has taught me more about grey areas than philosophy and ethics. I challenge anyone who reads this to think about the subject on your own. Give it a lot of thought. I've had this topic on my mind for three years now and I'm still not entirely sure where I stand excepting the points I made above. Do research. Read the abstracts of different case studies (the actual studies are terribly boring). Read other people's opinions. Talk about it with people who's opinions you respect whether you agree or not. In my experience, the best way to figure out what you think on a subject is to discuss it with the people around you or even strangers if the situation comes up. As I said, I'm still not entirely sure where I stand because honestly, I don't think I could make the decision unless I absolutely had to. I'm not going to sit here and say "Well, if this happened to me blah blah blah" because that's a really good way to not only look stupid in the future but sound stupid in the present.

I just had to say something about it.

Don't even blink!

Blink and you're dead.

Name that nerdy show!

You figure it out?

It's Doctor Who!

I'm a huge fan of this show. I asked for every DVD box set for Christmas and got 3 out of 6 making my aunt extraordinarily jealous :)

Anyway, the Doctor is a 900 year old Timelord from Gallifrey who travels through time and space in his TARDIS which is disguised as a blue Police telephone box from the 1960s in England. Oh. He regenerates. And is an absolute genius.

I love the aliens, the history references, and the generally crazy stuff that's on that show. What I love more than these, however, is that it is a witty and intelligent show with wonderful story lines. Plus, the actors who have been cast as the Doctor as of late are quite spectacular. Christopher Eccleston, who played the Ninth Doctor, portrayed a rather war-torn version of the Doctor, slightly intense but also very fun. David Tennant, who played the Tenth Doctor, was a very intense Doctor who fit very well with "burning through time" what with all of the passion displayed. Matt Smith, who is the Eleventh and current Doctor, is a much more mellow version compared with the last two. He's very fun, quirky, nerdy, much more humble, but also very confident and angry when it's necessary.

Actually, the whole purpose of this post today was just to update my reading list :)

The ones with the * are completed. If it has a ~ next to it, I'm currently reading it.

The Reading List:

*After by Amy Efaw

Anything But Typical by Nora Raleigh Baskin

Extraordinary by Nancy Werlin

~The Mockingbirds by Daisy Whitney

Forever by Judy Blume

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan

Never Let Me Go by Kazou Ishiguro

Lady Macbeth's Daughter by Lisa Klein

Red Riding Hood by Sarah Blakely Cartwright

Jay's Journal by Anonymous (A companion diary to Go Ask Alice)

Intrigues by Mercedes Lackey

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart

68 Knots by Michael Robert Evans

Red: The Next Generation of American Writers - Teenage Girls - On What Fires Up Their Lives Today edited by Amy Goldwasser

Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer